9 months week 2

[27 July-2 Aug 2020]

We had a fruitful day today, starting with a nice breakfast, then cleaning the garden (at some point I took a nap with H on the sofa because though he was okay with sleeping by himself on the couch for a while while all three of us could clean/organise, he stirred and I had to stay with him. We had lunch, then H took a nap with aunty while N and I cleared the bedroom.IMG_1577

Around 2:40pm, we set out to Mui Wo to visit Sabrina’s house. H was smiling shyly when we first greeted Sabrina. He enjoyed exploring the fuzzy texture of their living room carpet, standing up at their table and cabinets. We had a nice afternoon tea: Nicholas’ homemade oat banana cake (H got a small taste too, no added sugar), coffee, and croissants with cheese and ham. IMG_1654IMG_1701IMG_1740IMG_1745IMG_1751IMG_1752IMG_1754IMG_1772 Then we went to buy some groceries in the supermarkets and bakery. It was a nice family evening—a different kind of life. N & I enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere very much. At night, our neighbour even gave us egg tarts he bought from Tung Chung (today was the last day that people can eat in at restaurants and stuffs before the tightened Covid-related law bans this common activity too).

-typed on 28 July Tuesday

IMG_1876I love H’s cheeky, wink-eye grin.IMG_1888You can see his four teeth.IMG_1889IMG_1903

Tai Ma came to visit on Thursday afternoon (the last Thurs that I don’t have to work). H didn’t mind the smell of durian that TM is eating.

Fun times!IMG_2014IMG_1963He still loves the outdoor so much and would stop his complaining (whatever it was about—sleepy, milk, want to be carried standing up instead of sitting down, etc) if he gets to go out. The problem is, he wants to go outside even during hot noontime. Haha.

IMG_2062H had some fun inside the plastic container—bathing outdoors, “car rides”, colourful ball pit, and just practising standing up in it.

IMG_2026N brought home a secondhand motorbike from his colleague two days ago and H immediately knew how to turn the steering wheel, hold on to the shift gear and press the buttons on the bike. I was so impressed! He looks like a pro-driver, just like his daddy!IMG_2111He likes to look up at the umbrella because he finds it fascinating.IMG_2132IMG_2156IMG_2157Those giggles ❤IMG_2159IMG_2161IMG_2164H also loves getting up and down easily holding on to the low living room table and tv console. Yesterday while I was at work (the only day I had to go to office this week), he discovered the glass window corner that overlooks the walkway into our house and leads to the road. He loved climbing up to it because he can see the cars from there.IMG_2173IMG_2176Spinning the wheel. It’s fascinating to see him discover new things.IMG_2184IMG_2180hands offIMG_2198

Life lately

IMG_2155IMG_2169Our strawberry plant (from N’s colleague)

Instead of links lately, since we have limited internet connection in Lantau, I have “living” more (though I could do more)—walks outside (H goes on much more with aunty than I do), breakfasts, reading, and Bible study/prayer.

I’ve made myself some nicer breakfasts this past week that reminded me of days in Italy host home (this house’s older tile design and dining wares give off that Napoli vibe). Though, as a mom of a baby, I do feel guilty sometimes taking a long time making my breakfast because before I could finish, my baby almost always needs me already, and it leaves me with little time to do other more important stuffs that I need to do e.g. work (so I can have more time to spend playing with H later, swapping the time), daily necessities etc. I need to learn to relax as a mom more, because sometimes i get so worked up wanting to watch over his every movement (but he did fall down and bump his head a couple of times during my supervision). He’s also been waking up a lot to ask for milk since moving in here (new environment) and perhaps he’s also hungry since he’s getting bigger in size.

Slow down

IMG_2989I’ve been going, going, going, even if I’m waiting for the bus or MTR to move; or when Hudson is asleep (worried that he would wake up in a jolt with a cry). I’ve been on a tight string even though I don’t need to. ReadingFamapa’s blog of her recent days in London lockdown made me realise that I can slow down and appreciate life. It’s a breath of fresh air from the Instagram rush and my own keeping of a tight schedule of needing to update H’s latest milestones. It made me realise that I can take my minds and eyes off the apparent immediate needs of my soon-to-might-be crying baby and to really just take deep breaths when I can. Yesterday, Nick suggested for us to visit the new giant Muji in Kowloon Bay, but I was so calculative about making sure our time away from Hudson would be kept to the minimal so I was stressing out about checking the bus schedule and stuffs–basically making a time to relax (away from parents duty) to one that is not. I have been also getting a bit worked up about making our staycation at the hotel tomorrow worth every hour and minute and facilities, which again actually increases my stress and defeating the whole purpose of a holiday. So, the lesson and reminder today is: hey, I can change my attitude–it’s okay to not get every inch worth of our money back for the hotel stay or the buffets and it’s okay to focus on other things in life (although H indeed is our priority now since he is a baby and needs our undivided attention). Perhaps it’s best to simplify, prioritise, and focus on what makes life meaningful. Reading God’s Word and worshipping Him (worship changes things), enjoying meaningful engagement with family and nurturing Hudson to the vision of his name (maybe not even the photos and documentation would matter so much, since those are taking up so much of my time and energy), and work on some long term goals for myself (reading books, exercise and healthy eating, relationships, and keep learning). Well, and don’t forget to relax this summer.

6 months week 3 (week 28) + Mother’s Day

[4-10 May 2020]

This was the first week in which I worked all 5 days of the week again (just for the month of May) and I missed Hudson since I had to focus on work and had no time to play with him and just watch him.

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He loves standing up!

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I also felt bad for aunty who had to carry heavy H for long time during the days when I was busy with work. During the days that I went to work, H did miss me. On Friday and Saturday, he didn’t eat much and was quieter for some reason.

Well, on Saturday, we went to Fanling home for dinner to celebrate mothers day (I was excited to go for a family dinner after not having one since CNY). H however was scared and kept crying because of seeing non-familiar places and people. Aigoo, his crying can express his ideas clearly now, this little big baby boy.

IMG_6777IMG_6778Holding onto tai ma’s hand the whole time on our car ride there.IMG_6781

IMG_6796Yeye’s home cooking. yum.

Sunday breakfast at home: my first mother’s day! N bought the carnations. The bouquet wrapper is an artwork by Hudson. 😉

Motherhood 

is 

hiding in the toilet to type this post (because all moms know that this is the best, most relaxing escape space in the house)

humming the lullaby tune automatically in the middle of the night when baby awakes and anytime during the day when needed.

messy hair, don’t care because baby’s needs are more important to attend to. 

willingly sacrificing for your baby because he’s your baby and you love him.

Thank you, Hudson for making me a mum. Thank you God for this gift of a healthy, beautiful son so I can learn what it means to be a mum. 

Happy Mother’s Day! At this stage of motherhood, my sacrifices mostly include sleep, time and energy. However, I know other mums including my mum have had to sacrifice other things eg worrying about how we’re doing on the other side of the world or the different growth stages that we went through.  

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Sleepy sunny boy.

New film roll & sunny perfect weather days

I have the urge to start a new blog just to share my film photos (I’m so happy and excited with the new roll we just developed yesterday). I’m finding many moms to follow on Instagram recently and getting inspired e.g. Happybaes, Cakies, SunnyKim, Candid Salad.

I’m also still in a Hong Kong mood: Clahrah and Samishome. The weather and temperature is so perfect these few days, just like one of those perfect days in the US/UK. However, I’m also reminding myself not to let my feelings be guided by the weather/circumstances and instead always to be rooted in the unchanging grace and character of God. In Christ alone my hope is found. On Christ the Solid Rock I stand.

 

MAKE

=to create. There’s something powerful, fun, and so innate about this activity. I suppose it’s because we’re made in the image of our Maker. Especially during this time of stay home could-be-boring/isolating days, this is a powerful activity/verb. Obviously, I’ve been very inspired by cakies’ “make” category recently and all the people who have been making things at home due to the stay home policy to #flattenthecurve of the virus spread.

IMG_5600IMG_5601Today, I made these cookies since we have that box of candy cane I bought to make peppermint hot chocolate last December but I found out it didn’t taste as good as I thought it would so we’ve been staring at that box of candy canes on top of the fridge for months now. I don’t have a hand mixer so we used the hand whisk. Thankfully, it worked. I cut out some sugar from the amount the recipe called for and it’s still relatively sweet, but good.

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Well into 2020

We are well into 2020, the year that looks like it should be something great just because it’s a new decade, and also the “Wawasan 2020” that we had been expecting since childhood schooling era. The sheer symmetry in how the digits look in this year gave the illusion that it should be a great year. Well, at this point, people’s weddings have to be postponed, schools have been in closure, we haven’t been able to go out of the house much, and it’s almost the end of a quarter of the year. It’s easy to feel disheartened about the near future because no one can foresee when the covid-19 situation would get better and when we can go out freely and explore the world again. I’m lucky because at least I have a family to nurture and do life with even at home, plus, I’m naturally a homebody and the month of confinement practice got me confident about my ability to stay indoors for a long time. Of course I wish that we live in a bigger house with a garden (or even a balcony) so we can easily pop out to get some fresh air, but at least we have a big waterfront park close to our house (H is now out with our helper to get some outdoor time; he hadn’t gone out for more than a week again). It’s always the worry of whether we want to let him have fresh air/see the outside world so he won’t become deprived of this social development OR to just keep him safe in this little home of ours to avoid any possible contact with viruses. Well, at this point I’m still sleep deprived (sort of) and muscle-aching from carrying H. However, last night, he did sleep through most of it and only woke up at 5am? (but I still feel tired though, perhaps made worse with the shoulder soreness).

But anyway, all is well. I get to make dalgona coffee at home, cuddle my sleeping beauty baby, video call my daddy for his birthday–showing him Hudson playing on the mat, have a good lunch (salmon, corn + tofu soup, ginger stir-fry veggies and rice), video call mom earlier in the morning to check on how her 14-day quarantine is going at home in Kuching (she’s knitting, has another section of her desk dedicated for Bible study, and has papaya to eat), and I will choose H’s photos of the past week for my blog post.

What I wrote down during Sunday service (CCHK):

“In this chapter, may we hunger for You, Lord.”

What are the broken places in your life, in your heart that needs the healing  of God? 

(family, my selfishness in all these for my husband and son when I feel tired and want my husband to serve me more than I think about his needs)

Links lately:

Happy to see that click* finally updated her blog after her second baby.

Cakies has been a huge inspiration recently with motherhood, home life, dependence on Christ, and creativity/beauty.

 

Making bread

I saw Cakies’ daughter made pandesal and that really prompted me to want to bake. All the other people baking during this time of covid home quarantine e.g. samishome, N’s dad, Malaysian friends also gave me the motivation to finally go into bread baking.

Figuring out what the Korean flour labels mean: https://lonelybearbakery.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/the-great-flour-experiment/

I made pandesal (and bread) for the first time ever: https://www.foxyfolksy.com/pandesal-recipe/

Oh yea, I had to figure out what proofing active dry yeast means (compared to just using instant dry yeast).

I love the milky subtle sweet taste of this bread and the breadcrumbs coating outside that gives it a nice dusting (I was expecting a rough texture from the breadcrumbs but nope, it tasted more like powder and added such a nice subtle texture to it).

 

Motherhood (the beginning of it…)

I’m finally beginning to embrace the fun that comes with motherhood. Not that it wasn’t fun before, but it’s my change of attitude and light bulb moment. I still don’t change his diaper perfectly, much less know his cues half the time for what he needs at the moment (sleepy? more milk? want to play? gassy?)

Anyway, I’ve learned to embrace the “oh, he poo-ed again” and “yikes, he spit up some milk+saliva” moments instead of seeing them as disasters or interruptions to our lives. I’ve learned to accept these “interruptions” as a normal part of our daily routine. Also, do not expect to have long stretches of “me time” because he would easily wake up from his naps so yea, God is pruning me of my selfishness and rearranging my concept of what belongs to me i.e. time and sleep. I still get angry sometimes when I am deprived of my sleep/given the privilege to breastfeed and spend time with my baby (see? It’s how you view it that makes it a negative or positive experience).

I was reading Cakies blog on the ipad this morning while holding Hudson in my arms for his nap and reading about motherhood from her perspective of having older children puts my sense of motherhood now in perspective–I’m still at the nap/routine baby stage of it, but this will pass too. It’s normal to not have much time as a mom now for my hobbies or other things so don’t expect too much on productivity. Our dependence and need for Christ as a mother doesn’t change though. So it’s been a good read through pages and pages of her blog.

Today is one of the warmest days yet this year and I made an iced latte to sip on in the afternoon. Ok, back to my baby who is very into putting things into his mouth and practising his tummy time even though he sounds like he would vomit. Haha.. Rolling over as soon as we put him down on the mat and then growling.