H’s first day trip

Aww..he’s old enough to be curious and explore the outside world! That’s what I discovered about my 7.5 months old baby boy during our half day trip to Sai Kung to celebrate N’s mom’s birthday.

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These purple blooms are everywhere nowadays, and lavender seems to be the colour of the season.

IMG_8175IMG_8180IMG_8167IMG_8191So curious about the water and the live seafood.

IMG_8197We took off the face masks for some photos and there was a nice breeze from the sea.

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IMG_8249Happy birthday, Ceci mama!

IMG_8253IMG_8257IMG_8271IMG_8284We had a seafood lunch. Lunch with a view:

IMG_8292This boy was getting cheeky. Blowing bubbles, shouting ‘Ahh!” and moving about.

He finally fell asleep but woke up soon as we went to see the shops.

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6 months week 3 (week 28) + Mother’s Day

[4-10 May 2020]

This was the first week in which I worked all 5 days of the week again (just for the month of May) and I missed Hudson since I had to focus on work and had no time to play with him and just watch him.

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He loves standing up!

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I also felt bad for aunty who had to carry heavy H for long time during the days when I was busy with work. During the days that I went to work, H did miss me. On Friday and Saturday, he didn’t eat much and was quieter for some reason.

Well, on Saturday, we went to Fanling home for dinner to celebrate mothers day (I was excited to go for a family dinner after not having one since CNY). H however was scared and kept crying because of seeing non-familiar places and people. Aigoo, his crying can express his ideas clearly now, this little big baby boy.

IMG_6777IMG_6778Holding onto tai ma’s hand the whole time on our car ride there.IMG_6781

IMG_6796Yeye’s home cooking. yum.

Sunday breakfast at home: my first mother’s day! N bought the carnations. The bouquet wrapper is an artwork by Hudson. 😉

Motherhood 

is 

hiding in the toilet to type this post (because all moms know that this is the best, most relaxing escape space in the house)

humming the lullaby tune automatically in the middle of the night when baby awakes and anytime during the day when needed.

messy hair, don’t care because baby’s needs are more important to attend to. 

willingly sacrificing for your baby because he’s your baby and you love him.

Thank you, Hudson for making me a mum. Thank you God for this gift of a healthy, beautiful son so I can learn what it means to be a mum. 

Happy Mother’s Day! At this stage of motherhood, my sacrifices mostly include sleep, time and energy. However, I know other mums including my mum have had to sacrifice other things eg worrying about how we’re doing on the other side of the world or the different growth stages that we went through.  

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Sleepy sunny boy.

On marriage & thriving this season

Unity

Ephesians 4:2-3
“…with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

“Dear God, we pray that we would be eager to maintain unity in our home. Teach us to bear with each other in love in every circumstance we face. Thank you that in every decision and situation we have Your Word as our guide. In areas where the enemy would try to divide us, our finances, our careers, our times, our priorities, we pray that we seek Your will above our personal requests. Replace selfishness with humility, resentment with compassion, anger with gentleness, and conflict with peace. Make us one, Lord, in every area and in every decision. We submit our agenda for Your greater purpose. We let down our guard, surrender our desires and rely on Your strength to bind us together for Your eternal glory. Let our union exude Your presence and grow in us as a testimony of Your faithfulness. In Jesus’ most precious name we pray, Amen.” -from Tony Evans’ 30 Days of Marriage Prayers

(This is the prayer that I desperately need recently.)

I want to glorify God in/with our marriage. (the big picture of life! not just the day-to-day surviving and enjoying the misery pleasures that the world gives)

“Thrive” song by Casting Crowns came on my iTunes playlist today and it really speaks of what my prayer for this season of spring and post-Easter bring. Praying that I will have a renewed spiritual vigour as I draw regularly from the Word of God–the stream of living water and pray more.

Here in this worn and weary land
Where many a dream has died
Like a tree planted by the water
We never will run dry

So living water flowing through
God we thirst for more of You
Fill our hearts and flood our souls
With one desire
Just to know You and to make You known

We lift Your name on High
Shine like the sun made darkness run and hide

We know we were made for so much more
Than ordinary lives
It’s time for us to more than just survive
We were made to thrive

Into Your word we’re digging deep
To know our Father’s heart
Into the world we’re reaching out
To show them who You are

New film roll & sunny perfect weather days

I have the urge to start a new blog just to share my film photos (I’m so happy and excited with the new roll we just developed yesterday). I’m finding many moms to follow on Instagram recently and getting inspired e.g. Happybaes, Cakies, SunnyKim, Candid Salad.

I’m also still in a Hong Kong mood: Clahrah and Samishome. The weather and temperature is so perfect these few days, just like one of those perfect days in the US/UK. However, I’m also reminding myself not to let my feelings be guided by the weather/circumstances and instead always to be rooted in the unchanging grace and character of God. In Christ alone my hope is found. On Christ the Solid Rock I stand.

 

Happy Easter!

IMG_5975IMG_5972And we say with believers throughout the world and ages that: “Christ is risen, He is risen indeed!”

I want Hudson to remember his first Easter so I made some hand drawn signs that we can use in our family portrait since we don’t get to go to church during this Covid-19 situation. It’s rare, but it’s a special Easter, as reminded by the two sermons I listened to on this day: “Fear & Faith” by Pastor Steve and the quietness of that first Easter morning when the women went to Jesus’ tomb and found it empty (preached by Rev Luke, my yi zhang). Let us not forget that even though it’s a day for big, loud hurrahs that Jesus is ALIVE!, it’s also a day to remember what Christ has won for us–victory over sin and death so we can have new life. I also told Nick that we will use this Easter as an opportunity for the renewal of our spiritual life/health–to be more in the Word and Prayer. After reading Keller’s book “Prayer”, my April goal is to learn more on how to Praise God. To ponder and meditate on who He is, and learn to praise Him more.

IMG_6066I also played some Easter hymns with Hudson (inspired by Getty Family Hymn Sing & Jin+Johnny) as I want to cultivate this family tradition for him where he can grow up singing and internalising truths. Nick recited the Psalms out loud and Hudson listened to it attentively. Hopefully we can keep this family routine because I want to fill our house with praise and saturate it with God’s Word.

IMG_6018Such a cutie!

Well into 2020

We are well into 2020, the year that looks like it should be something great just because it’s a new decade, and also the “Wawasan 2020” that we had been expecting since childhood schooling era. The sheer symmetry in how the digits look in this year gave the illusion that it should be a great year. Well, at this point, people’s weddings have to be postponed, schools have been in closure, we haven’t been able to go out of the house much, and it’s almost the end of a quarter of the year. It’s easy to feel disheartened about the near future because no one can foresee when the covid-19 situation would get better and when we can go out freely and explore the world again. I’m lucky because at least I have a family to nurture and do life with even at home, plus, I’m naturally a homebody and the month of confinement practice got me confident about my ability to stay indoors for a long time. Of course I wish that we live in a bigger house with a garden (or even a balcony) so we can easily pop out to get some fresh air, but at least we have a big waterfront park close to our house (H is now out with our helper to get some outdoor time; he hadn’t gone out for more than a week again). It’s always the worry of whether we want to let him have fresh air/see the outside world so he won’t become deprived of this social development OR to just keep him safe in this little home of ours to avoid any possible contact with viruses. Well, at this point I’m still sleep deprived (sort of) and muscle-aching from carrying H. However, last night, he did sleep through most of it and only woke up at 5am? (but I still feel tired though, perhaps made worse with the shoulder soreness).

But anyway, all is well. I get to make dalgona coffee at home, cuddle my sleeping beauty baby, video call my daddy for his birthday–showing him Hudson playing on the mat, have a good lunch (salmon, corn + tofu soup, ginger stir-fry veggies and rice), video call mom earlier in the morning to check on how her 14-day quarantine is going at home in Kuching (she’s knitting, has another section of her desk dedicated for Bible study, and has papaya to eat), and I will choose H’s photos of the past week for my blog post.

What I wrote down during Sunday service (CCHK):

“In this chapter, may we hunger for You, Lord.”

What are the broken places in your life, in your heart that needs the healing  of God? 

(family, my selfishness in all these for my husband and son when I feel tired and want my husband to serve me more than I think about his needs)

Links lately:

Happy to see that click* finally updated her blog after her second baby.

Cakies has been a huge inspiration recently with motherhood, home life, dependence on Christ, and creativity/beauty.

 

My heart

Motherhood, marriage, and my selfish heart that needs repentance and God’s grace. I’ve been having a hard heart lately. I have realised this for a while now but reading Cakies blog really helped me to see what my heart is going through.

I tend to be calculative, likes to to manage/control the situations according to what I think would be most “worth it”/”optimum” use of everyone’s energy and time so I’ve become angry when N takes extra long time in getting home, showering, or eating dinner. I do stupid comparison games of “I’ve carried baby for so many hours” (+ the long night shift too! I don’t wake you up because I want to let you sleep well since you have work tomorrow but actually I feel xin ku too). I also feel that I’m always waiting for him and being left alone with baby (especially if I feel like I have no more strength to hold up baby or I really need to get a sip of water but am stuck with not wanting to stir baby awake in a certain position) and he’s still taking his sweet time doing something in the other room. As a result, I would sometimes feel bitter and say some not so nice things.

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, keep records of wrong, nor gets angry easily.

Lord, I need your forgiveness as well as the love to love my husband and son.

N, I love you (even though I don’t always feel this way recently) and I am sorry for all the times I’ve snapped at you. Thank you for taking care of us. Thank you for loving me. I want to learn to love you more.

Motherhood (the beginning of it…)

I’m finally beginning to embrace the fun that comes with motherhood. Not that it wasn’t fun before, but it’s my change of attitude and light bulb moment. I still don’t change his diaper perfectly, much less know his cues half the time for what he needs at the moment (sleepy? more milk? want to play? gassy?)

Anyway, I’ve learned to embrace the “oh, he poo-ed again” and “yikes, he spit up some milk+saliva” moments instead of seeing them as disasters or interruptions to our lives. I’ve learned to accept these “interruptions” as a normal part of our daily routine. Also, do not expect to have long stretches of “me time” because he would easily wake up from his naps so yea, God is pruning me of my selfishness and rearranging my concept of what belongs to me i.e. time and sleep. I still get angry sometimes when I am deprived of my sleep/given the privilege to breastfeed and spend time with my baby (see? It’s how you view it that makes it a negative or positive experience).

I was reading Cakies blog on the ipad this morning while holding Hudson in my arms for his nap and reading about motherhood from her perspective of having older children puts my sense of motherhood now in perspective–I’m still at the nap/routine baby stage of it, but this will pass too. It’s normal to not have much time as a mom now for my hobbies or other things so don’t expect too much on productivity. Our dependence and need for Christ as a mother doesn’t change though. So it’s been a good read through pages and pages of her blog.

Today is one of the warmest days yet this year and I made an iced latte to sip on in the afternoon. Ok, back to my baby who is very into putting things into his mouth and practising his tummy time even though he sounds like he would vomit. Haha.. Rolling over as soon as we put him down on the mat and then growling.

 

Cooking

and making the effort to do something that requires more complex work than the instant food to satisfy a hunger. There’s something so fulfilling and beautiful about complexity and working through several steps to get to your final product–in this case, a meal that we can enjoy together as a family and a taste of home away from my tropical home. It’s important to have moments like this because I fall into utilitarianism especially when sleep is scarcer than before and baby demands quite a bit of time and energy.

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